Mr Grey
by fuckthepaperwork
Summary: What if Christian Grey was Ana's high school english teacher? BTW, there is no BDSM in this story. Sorry to disappoint. But hope you like it, please comment!
1. Chapter 1

**Ana's POV**

My alarm goes off, blaring some stupid dubstep bullshit on the radio. God, I hate dubstep, when did that start to be considered music? Its 7am. I haven't gotten up this early all summer. The first day of school is always my favorite day though. Its a brand new year, starting fresh, and I haven't been surrounded by intolerable, sycophants for the past 2 months. I'm also really excited because I managed to weasel my way into Advanced English this year. Normally, being a sophomore I wouldn't be allowed to take it. Its a class for Juniors and Seniors, but English is like breathing to me, its so much a part of me that I don't even have to think about it. British literature is really my thing. And with Kate being the tenacious, powerhouse that she is, she managed to get us into the class. I was a little hesitant at first. I had so many people tell me how awful the teacher was. Apparently she was a crazy alcoholic, and was never there, and when she was, she would show up to class with a raging hangover, or a water bottle of vodka, or both. But the school board finally found out, so this year there will be a new teacher. I don't know anything about him/her. But as long as they can give me a good education, thats all I care about. Well, as good as you can get in a public high school.

45 minutes later I am showered, dressed, and look relatively presentable for my first day of sophomore year. The first day of school is also picture day, so I tried to make a little extra effort. I wore my only skirt. It's short, flowy, and floral. I'm wearing my most flattering white shirt that has lace ¾ length sleeves, and sort of hugs my body and look like i have some kind of a shape. I put on some cream colored over the knee socks, and finally my go-to brown ankle boots and a jean jacket. I decide to leave my hair down, its wavy from my shower earlier. As for make-up, not my thing. I never really understood makeup, the whole idea sort of intimidates me. Kate has offered to school me countless times, but quite frankly, I have very little interest in painting my face with powder and weird marker pens. I go downstairs and Ray is drinking what i assume to be his 3rd or 4th cup of black coffee and watching the morning news. Apparently there is a huge storm expected within the next couple days. Maybe we'll get the day off! Wow, thats a bad sign, I haven't even walked into my first class and already I'm wishing school away. Well, I guess like any other 16 year old who has to go back to school.

"Hey dad, have you seen my bag? The bus is gonna be here any second!" Ray looks over and gives me a secret smile.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you Anni, I have a surprise for you." Ray disappears into the kitchen for a moment and when he comes back, he hands me the keys to my Mom's old beetle. It hasn't been driven in forever. Not since my mom and Ray broke up a couple years ago. But Ray assures me that he had it checked out, and serviced, and that it should be fine.

"Anni, I know how much you hate taking that smelly old bus to school, and now that you have your license, i don't see any reason why you shouldn't be able to drive it. After all. I know you're going to be careful and responsible with it. Right?"

"Y-Yes dad of course, thank you so much. This is awesome!" I give him a big hug. I can't believe i have a car. The beetle is old, but I always sort of had a soft spot for that car, I like its rustic, vintage vibe. Ray hands me my bag which was hiding behind the couch. I run out the door, start the car, and floor it to school.

I pull into the parking lot at exactly 8:00. I sprint to room 103, the advanced english room. I am 3 minutes late. I hate being late, it is not like me at all. When I run through the door, I trip over a loose shoe lace on my boot, and fall face first into the classroom, the contents of my bag spilling all over the floor. Including personal items that I would really not have sitting next to Zach Fieldman's foot. The amount of raging laughter is ear splitting, humiliating, and just downright unnecessary. I mean, okay, i get it, I am the most uncoordinated person in all of Seattle, but this is over the top. I can feel the adrenaline pumping through me, and all I want to do is run back out of the room. Well, maybe walk this time. I don't even want to lift my head, i just want to stay face down on the floor. All of a sudden I feel a soft warm hand lifting me up, helping me to my feet. When i look up I am staring into intense, sharp, beautiful, dark, steely grey eyes. They are the first thing I notice and I can not tear mine away from his. Then i notice his face, his body, his hair, his mouth? Why the hell am I staring at his mouth? And then it hits me. Holy shit, hes attractive. He doesn't look much older than me. My attention turns to our hands. Mine still in his, and the connection is, electric, and quite frankly, terrifying. When i look up, he is still looking at me with some kind of wondrous expression, like he's trying to solve some unknown puzzle. And as soon as i realize that the laughter has seized, i am instantly pulled back to reality as is he, and we quickly let go of each other. Holy cow, I hope that didn't look as weird as it felt, but when I look around the room, no one really seems to notice, they're either shooting spit balls, shoving their tongues down each other's throats, or they have there heads down on their desks. I then remember that all of my belongings are scattered all over the floor. I quickly stuff everything back inside, trying to conceal the sanitary items. Nervously I look up at the guy who helped me up, and he is still looking at me, i think i can see a tiny hint of amusement behind his stern expression, but his face is so intimidating that i quickly look away.

Once I have packed up everything, I stand again and say a quick thank you to the guy who helped me up and then quickly move past him not looking at him. I see Kate sitting in the front, she waves and pats the top of the desk next to her. Great. She is sitting in the front row. kate loves being front and center, me not so much. I'm more of a back corner type of girl, but maybe if i'm next to Kate it won't be so bad. I put my bag around the back of my chair and sit down at the desk next to her.

"Are you okay?" She asks, eyes wide in concern and amusement.

"I'm fine Kate, you know me. I can't put one foot in front of the other without falling." I wink at her. She laughs, she knows what a klutz I am. And I finally relax, and start to forget about my traumatic first 30 seconds of advanced english. I hope the rest of the year goes better than that. I take out a notebook, a pen, and finally sink into the back of my seat. But when I look up, I see the guy who helped me up walking over to the chalkboard at the front of the room, and write "Mr. Grey" in perfect handwriting on the board. Holy Shit, he's the teacher?!

"Good morning class, my name is Mr. Grey and I will be your new english teacher this year. I want to start off by saying I don't take any bullshit in my class." Everyone freezes when they hear the serious tone of his voice, and all of the girls around me lean in closer and gaze at him with their jaws hanging open, practically drooling. Everyone is very surprised by his no nonsense approach as soon as class begins. Me, i don't really care. I want to be in a class, and have a teacher who will challenge me. I think everyone else is here just to have it on their records, but me, I cannot wait to dive into this class. "I understand that you are one of those progressive schools where you call your teachers by their first names. That will not be the case in my classroom. You will address me as Mr. Grey, and I will address you by your last names as well." He looks over to me, and points. "You, stand." He orders in a tone that is quite dictatorial, its kind of freaky. I shakely rise to my feet, my legs feeling like jello.

"What is your name?" He asks quickly and sharply.

"A-Anastasia." I stutter. My mouth is dry and there is a huge lump in the back of my throat.

"Anastasia…" He lingers on my name, testing it out, but also clearly asking for my last name.

"Steele, sir." His eyes widen for some odd reason. Is my last name a surprise to him? I didn't think it was that weird. But maybe it has some significance for him.

"Thank you Ms. Steele, you may have a seat." I sit back down in my seat, feeling like i just took some kind of test. One just for me, and I'm not sure if I passed it or not.

"Does anyone have any questions before we begin?" He asks looking around the classroom. Briefly at me, and the word vomit comes up.

"What're you doing here?" I ask him without raising my hand, before I've even realized what I've said. Shit, I probably could've been a little more respectful about that. But what is he doing here? He seems so irritated to be here, like he is disgusted by the whole public school system. I have only known this guy for about 2 minutes but it seems like he could do better than a shitpit like this, he could teach at a college or a private school, but here? I just dont get it. If he doesn't wanna be here, then why is he?

"Excuse me Ms. Steele?" He says taking one step towards me. He has a deep scowl on his face.

"I-I'm sorry Mr. Grey, that was a dumb question."

"Well, why ask it then?" He walks over to me, putting his hands on my desk and staring down at me, and I am floored. What is with this guy? Why does he feel the need to scare the shit out of me?

"Just curious Mr. Grey." I say staring down at my fingers, chipping away old nail polish.

"There are more interesting things for you to be curious about Ms. Steele." He says with a kind of menacing undertone. Like he's trying to tell me something else. And after he leaves me with that lingering thought, he steps away, and begins his lesson.


	2. Chapter 2: Jailbait

**Chapter 2: Jailbate **

**Ana's POV**

Mr. Grey may be an asshole, but he is a damn good teacher. I thought that I knew everything there was to know about "Great Expectations" but in just under an hour, he has managed to open my eyes into a whole new world of ideas. It inspires me to to go home and read it after school. I look up at the clock, not because I want to leave, but because I don't. This has been such a great class, and the teacher is irritating, smart, and HOT! Quite a seldom mix of traits if you think about it. I look around and all of the girls who were gazing at him earlier have not moved an inch, their jaws hanging open exactly as they were an hour ago. I'm sure a guy who looks like that must be used to this kind of reaction from women. Yes, he's attractive, only an idiot would say otherwise, but after listening to him for an hour, he just seems so controlling, and cold, and if i'm not mistaken a little full of himself. He doesn't seem to have much humility, but he is a good teacher, I will give him that. The bell rings and it takes a moment for all the girls to come back down to earth. I see Mr. Grey's eyes scan around the room and then he secretly rolls them. Gee, poor guy, it must be soooo awful for you to have girls swooning over you. What does he have to complain about. I can't wrap my mind around how I feel about this guy, some of the things he says and the way that he says them make me want to rip my hair out, but then another part of me is sort of intrigued by him, I mean he is smart, passionate, mysterious, not to mention his looks, and those eyes, theres so much to uncover. What am I saying? Hes just my teacher, what do I care about who he is outside of room 103? I pick up my bag and begin to make my way towards the door when I hear my name. My last name?

"Ms. Steele would you stay a moment please?" I look over at Kate who gives me a "what the fuck" look, i shrug and tell her that I'll see her later.

"Is there a problem Mr. Grey?" I ask a little harshly, more than I mean. Am I irritated with him? I don't even know. He seemed much kinder when I first met him. Or when he peeled me off the floor. He narrows his eyes at me, and I know that I should watch my tone.

"Please have a seat back at your desk." He gestures over to the seat that I was sitting in before. What? Why? I want to give him an irritated exasperated glare, but I hold back, the dude scares me. I go and sit back over at my seat, cross my legs, and fold my hands on my desk, sitting up straight, probably giving him more attitude than is wise. But I'm irritated with him, and I don't even really know why, I barely know him, who am I to judge anyway, but he is setting my blood on fire just by looking at me. He looks displeased, maybe i should ease up on the sass. I wouldn't want to anger Mr. Grey.

"I wanted to have a brief conversation with you." He says closing the door, and slowly, and gracefully strolls around to the front of his desk, leaning against the front of it, so that he is much closer to me. My heart starts pounding, slamming into my chest so hard that I'm worried that it will show. But I rally and do my best to appear unaffected, but I doubt that I'm successful.

"Oh? About what Mr. Grey, have I done something wrong?" I ask genuinely interested, i thought that I was pretty well behaved, besides my inappropriate question at the beginning of class, but you'd think he'd get over that at some point.

He crosses his arms and leans back against the desk. "Well Ms. Steele, you seemed to have an eventful first day in my class, would you like to explain that?" What kind of question is that? So what? I fell, big woop, i do it all the time, I ask a dumb question, but probably a smarter question than anyone else will ask in this class, and as for my snarky attitude, well he only has himself to blame for that. And as much as I would like to say all that to him, I know that that kind of conversation will not be beneficial to me.

"I apologize Mr. Grey, I didn't mean to draw attention, I was probably just flustered from being late, and falling, I didn't mean to ask that question, its none of my business." He seems pleased with my apology, but he still looks expectant. What else does he want me to say?

"But I had a great time in class today, I've always loved Great Expectations. It's a personal favorite." I say with a smile hoping that that will thaw the icy cold look he has on his face. And, it does! He sighs and a little twitch of a smile crosses his mouth. And I relax a little.

"You're very smart Ms. Steele. I didn't see any of the other young women in the class even open the book. And I appreciate you being involved in the discussion, its very rare that I get students who want to participate. I thought this was an advanced class that I was teaching, but then I find all of the students are zombies. It really fucking irritates me, so it was very refreshing." I feel a small hint of pride. I've had people tell me I'm smart many times, but for some reason when he says it, it makes me light up and hug myself inside.

"Oh, well thank you Mr. Grey, that is very kind of you. I love books so this is perfect." I say, and I look into his eyes again, but this time I don't see intimidation, i see something else, something I can't put my finger on. No one has ever looked at me like that before, and it makes me feel nervous and uneasy. Thats why he irritates the fuck out of me! Its the way he makes me feel, the way his eyes make me squirm in my seat. I don't like this, it feels so alien. But some small, twisted, unknown part of me likes it. I tear my eyes away from his, not able to take the intensity anymore.

"I think that its a perfect fit as well." He whispers in a soft, warm tone. And its almost like hes trying to imply something else, but I'm not sure what. The tone of his voice makes me look up at him again. And this time, i can hear my breathing quicken and deepen. And my eyes are once again drawn to his mouth, its perfectly shaped, and colored, and looks soft. And out of nowhere my mind begins to wonder what his lips feel like, and I immediately stop myself. _Are you insane?! He is your teacher! Don't think about how soft his mouth is!_ His face changes and his brow furrows, he looks confused, and I know it's because I have a "I've got something I shouldn't on my mind" expression plastered on my face. Shit. And I come back down to earth and compose myself.

"Is there something you would like to tell me Anastasia?" He asks softly.

"N-No Mr. Grey, nothing." I stutter down at my fingers refusing to look up at him again.

"Why did you just call me Anastasia?" It takes me a minute to realize what he said, but I liked the way he said it. He straightens and for the first time since I met him, I see a small hint of panic and remorse, like making a slip up like that is some sort of sin.

"Apologies Ms. Steele, that was disrespectful of me. It won't happen again." He says with a steely resolve. Steely as his beautiful grey eyes, and I feel a faint jab of disappointment. I liked the way he said my name. Although I wish he would call me Ana, but its better than Ms. Steele. Ew.

"It's okay Mr. Grey, you can call me Anastasia, or actually I like it when people call me Ana." I say smiling at him. And it becomes clear as I am saying this, that I want him to call me Ana because thats what my friends and people close to me call me. Does it mean that I want to be close to him? Thats crazy, hes my teacher! Why would I want that?

"No Ms. Steele, that would be inappropriate. I address you by your surname and that is all there is to it. No matter how lovely your first name may be." I feel a small flush cross my face. Is he allowed to say that? That feels a little personal for a student teacher conversation. But I love it. Wait, none of this adds up. He asked me to stay after so that he could tell me that I was smart, hes like my name and that I participate in class? I don't think thats a reason to keep me from my next class which I am now already 5 minutes later for.

"I should probably go, I'm already late to another class." I say hoping that this will set me free. But Mr. Grey suddenly frowns and looks displeased again, as if trying to go to my next class was the most audacious thing i had ever done.

"What class?" He asks.

"Health, I think." When I say it, he looks vaguely amused but looks down to hide it. Whats so funny?

"Well, that is a very important class, a lot of important information. I wouldn't want to deprive you of that. But I think that you would benefit from some one on one tutoring with me." He suggests. That makes no sense, if i'm so good in the class, why do I need a tutor?

"its just to expand your horizons, you don't have to, it's not required, but I just thought that someone as passionate about literature as you are would be intrigued." And the way he says that last word sends shivers down my spine.

"With you?" I ask breathlessly

"Yes Ms. Steele, with me." He clarifies. As he steps forward closing the distance and putting his hands on my desk like he did earlier in class. And my eyes are once more drawn to his mouth, and the thought of how soft his lips are sneaks it's way back into my brain, and i close my eyes briefly, then look up at him again. All bitter thoughts of Mr. Grey vanish, and all I can focus on are his eyes. I open my mouth to speak but stop when he shuts his eyes and swiftly pulls back. He looks angry now. Shit, what did I do? He quickly walks around his desk, scribbles a quick pass for me, then comes over and slams the sticky note on my desk in front of me, making me jump.

"Go to your health class Ms. Steele. I don't think private tutoring is for you after all. You'll be fine, now go." He says sternly, almost like he's scolding me. What the hell did i do? Hes the one who stopped me, hes the one who offered tutoring, hes the one who leaned in to stare at me with those perfect grey eyes. So why is he getting pissed at me? And the bitterness towards him rises again as I do. I stand, grabbing my bag, and the sticky note from my desk. I am so mad, his mood swings are giving me whiplash. He makes me stay after just to intimidate me and then yell at me for it? Fuck that.

"Goodbye Mr. Grey, thank you for the most confusing, pointless, student teacher conference ever." I walk past him quickly, crumpling up the pass that he gave me and throwing it in the trash bin next to his desk. As soon as I leave, i allow myself one quick glance back at him through the clear window of the classroom door, and I cannot decipher the expression he is giving me, but if I had to guess, he was probably reacting to my audacity. That was rude, but so was he. But he is the teacher so I am supposed to respect him, but that just pissed me off. I decide to ditch health and go read outside in the courtyard, but I don't get very far, because all I can think about is my wacked out teacher.

The first week at school went fine. I didn't have anymore trouble from the mercurial Mr. Grey, aside from a few awkward glances here and there. He also calls on me way too often. Honestly, I don't get what it is about me that makes him want to pick on me so much. There are 11 other kids in there, go bug one of them! Its Friday night and Kate has been telling me all week about this party that Zach Fieldman is throwing. I don't know Zach very well, but I know that he is very attractive, he's captain of the soccer team, he's a senior, and according to Kate, has the best party house of anyone at our school. Apparently all he does is ask his parents to go away for the weekend and the house is his. I think thats kinda weird, I mean who does that? I've never been to a party before, I've never even had a drink. Aside from sips of my mom's wine at dinner occasionally. But Kate says that I need to start socializing more, that I'm too stuck in my head. She's been on and on about this for years now, so I decide to humor her tonight.

"Okay dad, I'm going to Kate's, don't wait up!" I wave walking out the door. Ray doesn't question me as I'm leaving, probably because I've been such a saint compared to some of the other kids I go to school with. I drive over to Kate's house to pick her up. I decided to be the DD tonight since I don't even like alcohol anyway. His house is in one of those gated communities, but I guess cops don't really circle around there so they never get busted. His house is a huge mcmansion with a pool, hot tub, steam room, tennis court, and house about 6 guest bedrooms alone, which I'm pretty sure are all occupied as soon as we arrived. Kate walks in with her little red dress, her black heels and owns the room as soon as she enters. I am envious of her confidence, but at the same time I don't want a whole room staring at me anyway.

The party is fun, i guess. I'm just talking to Kate's older brother Ethan since other than Kate, he is the only other person here that I've said more than 2 words to before. Kate saches/stumbles over to me drunk as a skunk with a red solo cup that is about ¾ full. Kate is tiny so a few sips and she is, what do they call it? Oh yeah! White girl wasted. I take the drink from her and help her upstairs to one of the 20 bedrooms in Zach's castle of a house. I lay her down and put a blanket over her. I need to go find Ethan, he should be doing this. I go downstairs to look for Ethan but he is nowhere to be found. After a while i start to notice that I've been taking small sips of kate's drink. I didn't even notice, its so fruity and delicious in goes down like water. I go outside to look around for Ethan but frankly its pointless. His property is so big that It would take me hours to find him, and thats IF he actually was outside. And theres also the fact that I am now having trouble seeing/walking straight. But I do see Zach at the end of his driveway with a couple other guys. I think they're smoking, maybe one of them is Ethan! I walk to the end of the driveway to see if hes there.

"Hi guys, sorry to bug you." I say sheepishly as I approach them.

"Don't worry Ana, you're not bugging us, come blaze with us!" Zach says. He tugging my hand, he isn't aggressive, or rude but oddly enough, he's friendly? I'm surprised he knows my name, I think the last time I ever talked to him was when he asked me for a $2 for the vending machine in Junior High. I gave it to him hoping that he might actually have a conversation with me,but it didn't go much further.

"No thanks, I'm trying to find Ethan, i need him to help me with Kate, I can't move her." Even through the haze of my drunken stupidity, i can hear the slurs. All of the guys laugh.

"Kavanagh? He went upstairs with Jenna whatsername. I don't think he'll be coming back down anytime soon." One of the guys says in the most misogynistic way possible giving his friend a high five.

"You know I think I'll try some of that actually." Zach raises his eyebrows and passes me beautifully made glass pipe with blue and green swirls around it. There's a hole on the side of it. I'm not sure what it does exactly, but Zach says I have to hold my thumb over it or something. The pipe has a huge bowl at the end filled with Marijuana. I hold my hand out asking for the lighter.

"Let me help you out with it." Zach offers with a gorgeous smile on his face. Fuck he is more attractive than he was 12 hours ago! I hold the pipe to my lips, put my thumb over the hole on the side of the pipe, and inhale deeply as he lights the green grass in the bowl. Swirling the lighter around, and when I can take no more I release and a huge cloud of smoke appears all around me.

"Wow Steele, that was impressive! You've never blazed?" Zach asks me, shocked I think.

"No, its good though." I feel my eyes getting heavy and I'm getting this warm fuzzy feeling.

"Yeah it is. Well I'm sorry that I couldn't help you out with Ethan, you wanna go on a walk, and then hopefully by the time we get back, he'll be finished with his business." He raises his eyebrows at me with a sphinx like smile, and it makes me giggle.

"I shouldn't leave Kate." And I can hear the disappointment. I really want to walk with him though.

"We'll come back in 5 minutes. Promise." He holds out his hand, and I take it. We walk down towards the gate that guards the mcmansion neighborhood. As we walk past the houses we talk about school, he tells me about soccer, and we joke about Ethan. Its really nice. I always just assumed that Zach was a jerk, but he's actually a really nice guy.

We stop by a street light i lean my back against it, trying to steady myself. Holy crap, how did I get this messed up? I don't feel good at all.

"You okay Ana?" He says as he moves in closer and strokes my cheek with his index finger, and it makes me feel uncomfortable.

"No, Zach, not now." I say trying to pull my face away from his, but he grabs me around my waist and pulls me up against him, and I can feel his excitement up against me and it makes me want to vomit. He takes his other hand grabbing my face and trying to pull it to his but I dont want this, i struggle, but he is too strong. "Zach, NO! STOP! I dont want you do this!" I beg him, but he won't stop, he is kissing my neck and pushes me hard against the street lamp. So hard that I cry out, my back and head slamming into the cold, metal. His hands start to move downward. I dont know what to do, how do i stop him? And I know that I can't. Holy shit, what do i do? I feel his hands caressing the inside of my legs, slowly moving up my skirt, and I close my eyes in fear and preparation, I know what he is going to do. And just when I think he is going to touch me, his hand is gone and i hear a loud grunt. I open my eyes and Zach is face down on the ground, unconscious. It takes me a second to figure it out, but when I look over I see my english teacher staring at me with some kind of terrified, angry, concerned look on his face. Theres the icing on the fucking cake. This is too much for one night, i feel sick. I feel dizzy, and overwhelmed, and as i start to fall to the ground, I am vaguely aware of his arms around me. Catching me and holding me tight. I feel safe.

I wake up and the first thing I notice is my horrific headache, but it is instantly forgotten when I hear a knock on the door. Mr. Grey walks through the door in his gym clothes, it looks like he just went for a run. My first thought is about how hot he looks. but then my second thought is what is he doing here? And my third thought was, what the fuck am I doing here? Where is here anyway?

"Good Morning Anastasia." He says with a beautiful big grin on his face as he sits on the bed, but he tries not to get too close.

"Where am I? What am I doing here?"

"You're at my parent's house. They live a couple houses down from whatever party you were at last night. I was here for dinner, and as i was leaving I heard a cry, and i look over and i see some little shit attacking you. Then after you passed out, I didn't know where you were going or where you lived, and I didn't want to take you to my apartment so i just brought you here. Just so that you would be safe until you woke up." Holy shit. I am at my english teacher's parent's house. What the fuck? In what world does this kind of shit happen?

"What does your family think about you bringing in a drunk, 16 year old student of yours?" Is the first thing that pops out of my mouth, oddly. But I mean seriously, how sketch is that? He laughs and its amazing. Its the first time i've seen him chuckle.

"My parents enjoy having a drink or 2 from time to time as well, they were passed out not long after you were. He says with a grin.

"So they don't even know that I am here?" I ask surprised. I feel like a squatter or something. Hiding out in someone else's home? ew.

"No, they both left for work early this morning."

"Why are you still here?" I ask him. And instantly regret it, remembering my question from class and remembering how angry he got when I asked him that. And he raises his eyebrows. The irony is not lost on him either.

"Anastasia, this is my parents house, after all, I wasn't just going to leave you in a strange place with no explanation. I want you to feel safe." he says it in such a soft, caressing tone, and gazes into my eyes as I gaze back into his. And I feel that electricity that i felt on the first day. Only this time, its just me and him, and its all that matters.

"What is your name?" I ask out of the blue. i expect him to scold me for asking such a "personal" question but he doesn't, he looks amused.

"Christian." He says simply. But with a big grin.

"I didn't think you would tell me." I say chipping my nail polish.

"Why?"

"Youre not very approachable, and i just figured you wouldn't want me to know."i say shrugging.

"Anastasia, I am a very private, guarded person, I am the same with everyone. Even with my family, don't take it personally.

"How old are you?" I ask him. And his expression changes to something serious.

"I am 26 years old Anastasia." And when he says it, its almost like hes trying to say it in a way that will make me want to run away. Maybe he's trying to tell me that he doesn't want me around him?

"Oh, I thought you were a student when i first saw you. It freaked me out." I say giggling, trying to lighten the mood.

"I thought you were incredibly beautiful when I first saw you. That freaked me out." He whispers, his voice barely audible. Holy shit! No guy has ever said that to me before, let alone a teacher! Part of me is freaked out by this endearment, but then another part of me is on top of the world. How can someone who looks like this think that of me? The only reason I looked slightly more put together yesterday was because it was picture day. This guy could have some hot 25 year old model, but instead he is sitting next to one of his hungover high school students. This does not add up at all!

"Thank you?" What else do i say to that?

"Its true Anastasia. It was very difficult for me to teach the class that day, I was very distracted."

"By me?" I ask in shock.

"Yes, the reason I asked you to stay after was just because I wanted to get to know you better. Figure out what you're all about." Why does he want to know about me? Theres nothing to know.

"I want to know about you." i whisper this time. His eyes widen and his breath hitches.

"But I'm your teacher." He says matter of factly.

"This is true." I say, and I can hear the disappointment.

"But you're making it difficult." He says with his fists and teeth clenched tight.

"Me? What the hell did I do to you?" I ask, and i can't help the offense underneath my words.

"Anastasia, you just being in front of me makes it difficult. To see you at all is so hard."

"Why?"

"You know why Ana." Ana? He called me Ana! But he hasn't made himself clear. I have an idea of what he might be talking about, but the idea is so absurd that i don't consider it much further.

"No Christian, I don't. You will have to be more clear." I say, imploring him to continue.

"Oh for heaven's sake And, this isn't right."

"Christian, what do you want from me?" I ask gently hoping that a kinder approach will work. And he looks like he's about to say something but then doesn't. He closes his eyes, shakes his head, clearing it, i think, and looks up at me with his steely resolved look.

"Nothing, Ana." And then he looks back down. Dammit. Not again! Whenever I think he's going to make a move, he doesn't. Its like he is teasing me. He lifts his hand off of mine, and when he does, I grab it instinctively before I even know what I've done. He looks just as surprised as me.

"Ana." I don't like the way he says it. Like he's telling me what I'm doing is wrong. Which I guess is true, this is wrong on so many levels, but nothing has ever felt more right. And I can't take it anymore, I launch myself at him knocking him onto the bed, and I kiss him. Hard. I have never kissed a boy before, so i have no idea what brought this on, but i've been missing out. I can feel Christian's shock with the hitch of his breath, and I can feel his heart pounding, matching mine, and then he is wrapping his arms around me, holding me tight, pulling me to him. I run my fingers through his hair, and kiss him with more passion than I ever knew was possible. What the fuck? I'm making out with my high school English teacher?!


	3. Chapter 3: The right kind of wrong

**Chapter 3: The right kind of wrong**

**Christian's POV**

I am startled as this girl throws herself at me, knocking me flat, and I know I should push her off. Tell her to stop, that what I cannot do this with her. But her soft pink lips leave me helpless, and I finally wrap my arms around her, pulling her even closer to me. She is so sweet. Her smell is intoxicating, and I am dying to kiss her everywhere. And in a flash, i picture her tied up, doing things that no 16 year old should ever do. Even if I liked it when I was 16, that doesn't mean she will. She is too innocent, and as these images cross my mind, I have some feeling of disgust. I have never felt less like dominating someone. And the realization finally hits me about how wrong this is, and my lack of self-control in such a critical situation. I pull my face away from hers, our kiss seizing, she is still on top of me, her face barely touching mine. I gaze up into her beautiful blue eyes, and she looks into mine. We're both panting and shaking. Looking into those soft, sweet eyes, I can feel the urge to kiss her begin to slowly rise. I close my eyes, so not to be tempted by her beautiful face. I sit up, gently pushing her away from me. I can't do this, its so wrong, and I can't take advantage of a 16 year old girl, i definitely can't take advantage of a 16 year old student of mine. I remember how I felt when Elena seduced me. Sure, like any other teenage kid, I had raging hormones, and thought about sex 100 times a minute, but now that I think about it, i think it actually made me a little uncomfortable, which is weird because I don't remember feeling that way at the time. I cannot make this girl feel the way that Elena made me feel. That thought really makes me angry.

"Ana, we have to stop this. You need to stay away from me, do you understand?" I say with as much remorse as I can possibly squeeze out of my voice. She looks at me, with furrowed brows. She looks, confused? Hurt? And if I'm not mistaken a little angry.

"No Christian, I don't." She snaps at me folding her arms. Yup. Her anger is definitely evident.

"Anastasia, we both know that this is wrong. I have crossed so many lines just in the past few hours. I won't lie to you, I have wanted to kiss you since I peeled you off of my classroom floor, but just because I want to, doesn't mean I can. You did kiss me, and it was amazing Ana, and I won't forget how you just made me feel. But this could hurt both of us very much if this ends badly. And I doubt it will end any other way than that. You are an incredible girl Ana. And if in a few years if I still have a chance, we could try and see where things go then." Ana is still looking at me, only now it is sadness that is more evident. Shit. I didn't want to make her sad, the fact that she is so young is just not right though. And ten years is a bit of an age difference, but i can't think about that now, I'm too lost in her eyes, wish that i could just hold her and kiss away the tears that i can see pricking the corner of her eyes. She looks down at her fingers, chipping at her nail polish. She nods her head slightly, agreeing but clearly not wanting to. She clears her throat and she has managed to collect herself.

"Ya know Christian, there were other ways of getting me home. You could've figured it out if you put your mind to it. I know that you're smart so I find it hard to believe that you couldn't find any other way." She has a point, i didn't make much of an attempt to try to get her home. And I know why, and i think she does now too.

"What do you want me to say Ana? That I didn't try very hard to take you home because I want to be near you?" I ask, my voice shaking, feeling like such a creep.

"I want you to tell me the truth. I want you to stop being so fucking mercurial and tell me what is going on. I'm sick of trying to guess." I'm shocked by her audacity. _Watch your tone Ms. Steele._

"That is the truth, Ana. I'm not going to lie, I wanted to see you and spend time with you so I brought you here. That was an error on my part and it wont happen again. Ever." I say with resolve. And I see the disappointment return to her face. Fuck. I've made her sad again.

"You're right I should go, but if I do, I want you to promise me that you will leave me alone and stop giving me whiplash with your constant mood changes. Figure out what you want Christian, I'm not used to this kind of probing and attention. If you dont want to see me anymore fine, but if that is your decision, stick with it, because it isn't fair to me." her voice cracks on the last word, I can see the anger and emotion pulsing through her body. She has a very good point, its not fair for me to push her away and then keep chasing her while she is trying to let it go. I sigh deeply.

"I promise Ms. Steele." I saw in a professional, resolved tone. And I am her teacher again.

"Okay." She says stiffly and throws the duvet cover off of her, swinging her legs out of bed, and as she gets out of bed, I see her skirt hitch up a little and I know its fucked up, but I like what I see. I think she is wearing some light blue underwear of some kind, but her bare legs are just beautiful.

"What would you like for breakfast?" I ask as I walk her downstairs.

"Nothing, I am leaving Chri-Mr. Grey. Goodbye." She turns and opens the front door and as shes about to walk out, I grab her hand quickly and pull her close to me. I look down at her, searching her eyes for some kind of forgiveness or understanding. But she stares at me impassively. She then gives me a _what the fuck do you think you're doing look_ on her face. And before she gets the chance to yell at me again, I kiss her softly. And she responds. When I feel her begin to shake and try to deepen the kiss, I pull away again. Imploring her to exercise some control. God knows someone around here needs to. And I can see I have really made her mad now. And this time she doesn't say goodbye, or look at me again. She turns away from me quickly and walks out the door, slamming it behind her. Well fuck.


	4. Chapter 4:Hooked

**Chapter 4: Hooked**

**Christian's POV**

All weekend I have thought about nothing but Ana, when I was grading papers, hers was the only one that I gave an A to. Shes obviously the only one who is doing any of the reading, her friend too, but she doesn't have the same passion for the work that Anastasia has. I think I gave her friend a B, I don't care enough to remember. I read Ana's about 20 times, trying to see if I could uncover anything from what she wrote. And so far, I have been unsuccessful. This girl is such a mystery. I can't for the life of me figure out who out how to approach her. Especially after what happened on Saturday. I wish she hadn't left. I wish she could've just stayed here. But it wouldn't be right, but I have never wanted anyone else so much, and in the way that I want her. This is the first girl that I haven't wanted to dominate at all, in fact the idea of dominating her makes me sick. Sure, I want to see her and touch her, but that doesn't mean that I can. I finish grading the last paper and I am left with nothing now. Nothing to try and distract myself with. I am sitting in what my friends call my bachelor pad. I may be a teacher, but I am the best, most persuasive teacher in Washington State, and I know how to negotiate a paycheck. I'm sure if Ana ever saw this place she would sneer at it with disgust. The thought is pleasing to me. She doesn't care about stuff like that, she doesn't seem like the gold digging type.

On Monday morning I am awake before the alarm goes off. I can't wait to see her. Her class is my first of the day, I can't wait to see her. I put on some jeans, a white linen shirt, and a black vest and tie. I skip breakfast, I'm just too anxious to get to school and see that girl. When class begins I notice that she isn't here. I scan the room for her and I see her nowhere. Shit. Why didn't I think about this? I probably scared the poor girl away. All of a sudden I hear the click of the door handle and my head shoots around, not exactly subtle. Its Ana. She gives me a small sheepish smile. I'm so angry with her for making me worry, I want to ask her where she's been and why she is late, but when I look closer at her eyes, they are red. Red from what?

"Sorry." She barely whispers. And then she walks over to her seat, gets out her pen and notebook, and begins taking notes of what I have written on the board. She doesn't stop, she doesn't look up at me, she doesn't acknowledge me at all. There is obviously something wrong, but I'm not going to figure it out now. I decide to just leave her alone...for now.

"Don't forget you have a test at the end of the week, so some of you might want to start reading the book now, as I assume, by the grades of most of your papers that none of you have ever even heard of 'Great Expectations'." I finish and look over at Ana, who still will not look at me. Its really starting to piss me off. I need to talk to her, I wait for all of the students to leave and I call after her.

"Ms. Steele, can I see you for a moment please?" And she doesn't stop.

"Ms. Steele?" I say a little more forcefully this time. She stops briefly, turns her head fractionally, and then keeps walking. What the fuck? She just ignored me? I have never had a woman ignore me. Well, not for a very, very long time. And I want to vomit at that dark thought. She is nothing like her. But why wouldn't she talk to me? She was late to _my _class, she should stay and explain to me why she was late. But what can I do? I'm her teacher, what am I gonna do? Call the principal and force her to come talk to me for being rude? Holy Shit! Thats it! But is that going too far? I mean, especially getting the principle involved, he should remain ignorant to all this. But if its the only way I can talk to her...oh, what the fuck!

At 2:35PM I am yanked away from my email by a light timid knock on my classroom door. The school day has just ended and without looking up I call for them to come in. When I look up I see Ana standing in front of my desk with her arms wrapped tight around her books, she is wearing a light blue sundress, with her hair pulled back into a side braid with small strands of hair loose. She looks beautiful, but not happy. She is staring down at me with obvious contempt. And then I notice, she is shaking. And her eyes look slightly more filled than normal. Fuck.

"The principal said that you wished to speak with me, Mr. Grey?" She says in a frigid tone.

"Yes Ana, have a seat." I don't gesture to her desk, but to the empty seat that is closer to me.

"No Mr. Grey, I think I'll stand. I don't plan on staying long." She says in an even icier tone.

"Fine Ana, whatever makes you feel comfortable." I say with exasperation hoping that it will make her budge. It doesnt.

"Why were you late?" I ask simply.

"I was taking care of something." She says without missing a beat.

"Oh? Enlighten me." I ask intrigued.

"I don't think that is any of your fucking business!" She raises her voice and a tear slips past the edge of her eyes and falls down her face, but not before she stops it with her hand. It is clear that I'm just making whatever this is worse for her, but I need to know! I don't react to her. I don't yell, I don't glare at her, because I can't be angry with her when she looks like this, when she feels like this. The only emotion I feel is sympathy, which isn't a feeling that I am familiar with at all. It's very hard for me to feel any emotion for teenagers other than irritation and resentment, but with Ana, shes so different. I care about her. I care about her a lot.

"Ana, please sit down." I gesture once more towards the chair, and to my surprise she sits.

"What is it Christian?" She says with hardly any life in her voice at all.

"Please tell me what happened, it is driving me crazy seeing you like this, its hurting me. Ana please, tell me." I implore her, grabbing her hands in mine. And to my disbelief she returns my squeeze.

"Its just something with a friend." She says looking down, and just by those words and the way that she says them, I know exactly what's going on.

"What the fuck did that little shit do to you now? Did he touch you again, cause if he did I will fucking kill him!" I can hear the rage in my voice.

"Nothing, he was just going around telling people that I hooked up with him, and I knew I was on my way to your class, so that was overwhelming on its own. I'm fine Chri-Mr. Grey." She smiles at me sweetly but unconvincingly and pats her hand over mine. I can feel her getting ready to leave.

"Ana, i want to take you in my arms right now and kiss you." I say without hesitation, lost in her eyes.

"Christian I want you to take me in your arms right now and kiss me." She says breathlessly.

"But I can't." I say sternly.

She leans in and barely touching my nose with hers, she whispers, "I know." Looking down into her beautiful blue eyes, there is nothing I want more. She pulls away.

Later that night I decide to go for a walk in the park. While I'm walking I just think about Ana, and what to do to get her, but it always comes back to the same thing, and I know that no matter how hard I try, there is nothing ethical about my desire for her. On my way home, I see Ana walking with some random dude. He has his arm wrapped around her waist. Who the fuck is that? What the fuck is he doing with his arm around her? Who the fuck does he think he is? I can feel the rage building up inside of me, but I control myself. Okay, so he has his arm around her, I can't flip out over something like that. I just want her to be mine and I can't pull her in, no matter how hard I try. And I know its insane, but when I see them walking away, I decide to follow them. The last time I saw Ana with a boy, he was attacking her, and she wasn't able to fight him off. I can't let that happen. The walk for a long while with their hands clasped. Why is she still holding his hand? Does she like him? Is she over me? Fuck! What if she is? After walking for about 25 minutes we come to a house that I assume is hers when I see the fucker she's with walk her to the door. I can see and vaguely hear what they're saying to each other.

"Thank you for being there for me tonight." Ana says with a shy smile.

"I'm always here for you Ana, I care about you so much, and I love every minute I spend with you. I hate to see you unhappy. If there is ever anything I can do, please let me know." The guy says just loud enough for me to hear, and while he says it he is caressing her cheek with his index and middle finger, and to my great disappointment, she doesn't push him away, or so much as flinch. Shit.

"Thank you, Jose." She says and then puts her hand on the side of his face. So his name is Jose. Fucking prick.

"Goodnight Ana." Jose says barely leaning in.

"Goodnight Jose." Ana says, inching forward a little.

And then something happens that makes my stomach churn, and my palm twitch like a motor. The both lean into each other and connect with a soft kiss, no tongue, but it lasts for a lot longer than is necessary. When they pull away, I can see the connection between them and it hit something in me, right at my inner core, and I am all of a sudden feeling completely helpless, and furious, and jealous. Yes thats it, I hate to admit it, but I am so fucking jealous, Its taking all of my strength and control not to run up the path and kill this fucker. Finally, they step away from each other, and Jose walks away looking back at her with some bullshit, candy-ass smile. Fucker. Ana goes inside. After 5 minutes of pacing outside her house, debating whether to go in or not. I only see her car in the driveway, does that mean her father is not home? I look up and I see her through her window, she is changing into pjs. When she takes off her shirt she is wearing a mint green bra with a tiny bit of lace trim, she is so beautiful to look at, but is quickly gone as she finishes buttoning up her pajama top. I can't take this anymore. I just can't. I take a deep breath and storm up to the porch and knock on the door. When I hear the patter of her bare feet coming down the stairs, my heart pounds faster. She opens the door and she looks perfect. She is wearing a purple pj set with little monkeys on them and little shorts that show off her beautiful legs, her face is clear and beautiful, her hair is in a loose bun with loose strands hanging down, and her eyes are wide and bright. She stares at me with her mouth hanging open.

"Christian." She whispers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Choices**

**Ana's POV**

Christian is sitting next to me on my bed. The electricity in the room is undeniable, as we both sit there guiltily, not able to look at each other. My heart is pounding so hard, I don't know if I can hold it in. Finally, he clasps my hand and caresses my hand with his thumb. I feel him look at me, and against my will, I look up into is beautiful yet intense, grey eyes. I can see he is preparing to tell me something important.

"What is it?" I ask gently, not looking away from him.

"I don't know how to say this Ana." He says closing his eyes, and I can see the internal struggle. I place my hand on the side of his face, caressing his cheek. He leans in to my hand, his eyes still closed. And finally he looks up with a steely resolve.

"I care about you very much, Ana." He says leaning in closer to me.

"I care about you too Christian." I say leaning slightly closer to him. I reach to hold him, and he immediately moves away from me. What? What did I do?

"Did I do something wrong?" I ask and I can hear the disappointment in my voice. He relaxes and then moves in slightly closer again.

"Ana, I don't like to be touched."

"What are you talking about, I've touched you before?" I say, now sounding offended.

"You can touch my arms, and my face, but my torso is off limits Ms. Steele." He says with an apologetic smile, and to my shock, he kisses me softly and deeply. Almost like he is desperate for me. I hope he is, cause God knows I'm desperate for him. Suddenly I feel him becoming distant and he stops and pulls away.

"How do you feel about that boy you were just with?" He asks suddenly demanding. What the hell is this man's problem? His moods are more up and down than any girl I've met.

"You saw that?" I look up at him sheepishly feeling like a piece of shit. Dammit, why did he have to see that, I don't even know how I feel about Jose. I don't really like him that much, he's just a good friend who was there.

"Yes I did, Anastasia. I wanted to kill him. To see any other guy touch you in any way is unnecessarily painful. I can't remember the last time I was that angry. So? Do you want to be with him?" He asks me in his harsh, intimidating tone.

"No Christian, I was just lonely, he's a good friend, and has always been a good shoulder to cry on. I knew he had feelings for me, and I was just overwhelmed. I didn't feel what I feel with you. I dont want to be with anyone except for you Christian." I say bravely but honestly. Christian's eyes widen as his breath hitches.

"Well, seeing you today at school, and then with that prick, it got me thinking."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Oh really?"

"I don't think I can be without you, Ana. I have never met anyone like you. You're smart, funny, very mature for your age, and to be quite honest, sexy as hell." I flush. This guy doesn't know what the hell he is talking about. Sexy as hell? Me? He must be delusional.

"Don't look ashamed, Ana. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life. And I've never felt a connection with anyone the way I feel with you. So I had a question for you…"

"What is your question, Christian?" I ask intrigued.

"Well, honestly, I want you to be mine." What the hell? Is he asking me his girlfriend? His secret girlfriend? The man is insane, but at the same time I am absolutely thrilled. This is all I've wanted since I laid eyes on him.

"And as much as I want everyone to know that you're mine, they can't. And I know thats very unfair for me to ask that of you. And please know that, if I had another choice, i would. But I need you. Badly. And I don't think I can go another second without you. I'm hooked on you, Ana." He says playing with the loose strands of my hair. Holy shit! He's hooked on me? I'm sure as hell hooked on him. Hes like a drug. The most addictive drug ever.

"Christian, I will be with you any way that I can. Besides, people don't need to know, because this isn't about them, its about us. So no one else should be involved anyway. But I understand the risks of this, and if you're willing to take them, well then so am I." I stroke his face reassuringly. I kiss him passionately and the pull away, lost in his gaze.

"I'm luck that I got to have you as my first kiss." I lean back in and he pulls back slightly in shock. And I instantly regret it. Uh-oh, I didn't tell him about that did I? Fuck.

"I was your first kiss?' He asks. I nod.

"You're 16 years old and you have never been kissed?" He asks stunned with wide eye.

"Well, I have now." I shrug and smile apologetically. He relaxes a little and smiles.

"So you've never even had a boyfriend?" He asks will still a little bemusement.

"No sir, I haven't had a boyfriend." And his breath hitches after I say that for some reason.

"Well I am honored. You're a good little kisser considering you have no experience."

"You think my kissing is little?" And inspiration hits me, and I knock him back on to my bed. I take off his jacket, my sweater, and unbutton the first few buttons of my blouse so that my lace bra is slightly showing. I lean down, straddling him, and I kiss him violently and desperately. Little kissing? Please. I stop momentarily to catch our breath.

"Ana, what the fuck are you doing to me?" He asks panting. My eyes are closed but when I open them, he looking up at me with hooded eyes, and I am suddenly aware of his excitement underneath me. And for the first time ever, I feel a tingle between my legs. What is that? Oh my! Christian grabs me tight and rolls over so that I am beneath him, and he kisses he. Hard. One hand in my hair, the other one slowly unbuttoning my pj top, opening it up and and taking it off. I am in my bra and pj shorts. He begins grinding against me, thrusting his erection against me, there. I join his rhythm and reach for his belt to unbuckle it, but he stops me.

"No Ana." He says very seriously."

"Why not?" I ask feeling jipped.

"Ana, you are not ready. We are not ready. Just kiss me baby." He grabs my face again and resumes his intense face sucking. I try go for his shirt this time. He lets me unbutton it and take it off, but doesnt let me touch him. But his hot skin on top of me, pressing against mine is just as he lightly strokes me across my chest, then moves his fingers down to my stomach, and excruciatingly gently strokes my belly, and my nave. I can feel that tickle at the apex of my thighs again. The touch of his fingers, and his continued thrusts make my body quicken. Oh my God, what is going in? This alien sensation starts to build inside of me, and before I even know what's happening, my body bows and I screw my eyes shut, calling his name at the overwhelming release, and Christian then presses his hand on my stomach so that the feeling goes on. Jesus, thats how it feels? Holy Shit.

"Oh, Christian." I whisper and I can hear the obvious gratitude in my voice as I return to reality.

"You'd be surprised what I can do to you with robbing you of your virtue." He says with triumph and amusement clearly on his face.

"I can't wait to experience it. And to return the favor." I wink at him, and nussle him. And his expression changes from amusement to shock and excitement I think.

A loud slam of the front door from downstairs breaks our connection and we both freeze for a brief second and then when we realize its Ray, we both jump up quickly. Christian grabbing his shirt and his cliche teacher's vest. I grin over at him as I button him my top.

"Shit, what should we do?" I whisper quietly but franticly. He can't go downstairs, Ray can NOT see him. Christian runs his hands through his hair, and our heads shoot over to the door again as we hear Ray coming up the stairs. And without knocking, Ray comes into my room and looks at both of us. Fuck.


	6. Chapter 6: Baby

**Chapter 6: Baby.**

**Ana's POV**

Ray stares at both of us. He looks furious. Like i've never seen before, i mean Ray definitely has a temper, but is never out of line, but now he looks like he's about to kill me. Or Christian. Or me and Christian? Well, it would make sense. Very Romeo and Juliet, Very Shakespeare, Very me.

"Ana, who is this young man?" Ray asks stiffly staring him down. Wait does he think that he's a teenager? _You did!_ My subconscious reminds me, making damn sure that I never forget my idiocy.

"Dad, this is Christian." My voice is barely audible. I don't look at either of them, but out of the corner of my eye, I see Christian step forward and hold out his hand to Ray. What the fuck is he doing? And to my surprise Ray takes it.

"Mr. Steele, its a pleasure to finally meet you." I barely recognize Christian's voice. His voice sounds so much higher. He sounds like a 17 year old boy. And then I see, and I can't help myself; I let out a giggle-snort but quickly compose myself. Ray and Christian look at me and I feel my face flush.

"Something amusing to you?" Ray asks. He may be reining in his temper, but he hasn't forgotten. I'm not off the hook yet.

"No dad, its nothing." I answer sheepishly.

"So what exactly is going on in here?" Ray asks crossing his arms. Shit. What do I say? I'm playing doctor with my teacher?

"We were just hanging out." Fuck. Is that really the best I can do? Ray raises an eyebrow, and something tells me that he's not buying it.

"I'm in Advanced English with Ana, we were studying." Christian answers, making me feel like an idiot for not thinking of that. I fight another giggle-snort, and am successful but I can still feel my face getting hotter and hotter.

"Oh, are you tutoring her?" Ray asks.

"Yes sir, I suppose you could say that." And I finally look up at Christian, trying to rein in my shock. How could he? I dont think I have ever been in a more uncomfortable situation in my life.

"Well, would you like to stay for dinner?" Ray asks. And I can't tell if its because he likes him, or because he wants to interrogate him.

"What a generous invitation, thank you sir. But it's getting late and I should be heading home." I feel my body sag with relief.

"Of course." Ray says reaching out his hand once more. I can't believe Ray didn't kill him! But what the fuck have we gotten ourselves into? Christian takes it without missing a beat.

"It was a pleasure to meet you sir." Christian smiles, and he's got him. My dad is under Christian's spell. Just like me. Well not _just_ like me. But it makes no sense. 2 minutes ago, Ray looked like he wanted to kill Christian, and now he's inviting him for dinner? What is it about this man?

"You as well Christian. I'll let you two say a _quick_ goodbye." Ray looks over at me, as he emphasizes the word "quick". And to my surprise he leaves the room, leaving the door open a crack. What the fuck was that? Christian turns to me, and stares at me impassively.

"You're out of your fucking mind." I whisper lost in his gaze.

"Ana, your dad knew what was going on, he thinks I'm your age. I'd be an idiot not to take advantage of that." He says moving in closer. And my heart quickens.

"Christian, we won't be able to be around anyone else, hes gonna find out eventually."

"Good point. We knew this was going to be tricky Ana, but for now, just let me kiss you before I have to tear myself away." He says wrapping one arm around my waist, pulling me to him, clutching me hard against his chest. And with his other hand he gently caresses my very pink cheeks with his fingers. The feeling is excruciatingly good. And then he grabs my face and kisses me violently, passionately, and I respond with the same desperation.

"Ana!" I hear Ray calling from downstairs, but we don't pull away from each other, we continue to devour each other.

"Ana!" And this time, we stop, gazing at each other. Christian's eyes are hooded, filled with...I don't know, I can't make out his expression. He kisses me one more time softly then pulls away, letting me go, and it takes me a moment to find the strength in my legs again, I almost fall to the floor.

"Steady." He says with an amused grin on his face. Smartass. He is enjoying my desperation. As we hear Ray walking up the stairs, we quickly compose ourselves and Christian heads for the door. They both stop abruptly, almost running into each other. I put my head in my hands. This is so fucked up.

I am sitting on my bed next to Ray.

"So, tell me about this young man." Ray begins his interrogation. And it takes everything I have not to burst into a fit of giggles.

"Why? What do you want to know about him?" I ask.

"Well, is he your boyfriend?" Ray probes. And I don't know what to say. Is he my boyfriend? What is a boyfriend anyway? I would have no way of knowing, and supposedly my first boyfriend is my high school English teacher?! But when I think about it a little more, I can't help but feel a tiny hint of pride at the idea. But I can't tell anyone. I can't take him out and show him off. I can't enjoy all of the things that come with having a boyfriend. And they're thinks that I want. I want to be able to claim him as mine, and as long as I am his 16 year old student, I know I won't be able to. After a long beat I decide to try and be honest with Ray.

"I don't know, dad." Well, that is true.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Ray asks looking unsatisfied.

"I don't know what to say dad, but you dont have to be worried. He's a good guy." I smile at Ray reassuringly. And I feel the conviction in my words. He _is_ a good guy. I know he is. And he wants to be with me. At least I think he does. I hope he does.

"He seems pretty mature for his age. How old is he?" Ray asks. Oh no. Now, I have to go into this?! What do I say?

"I'm not sure exactly." And there goes my brownie points from my hint of honesty before.

"What grade is he in?" He's digging deeper.

"The one above me." I answer quickly, not thinking about what I'm saying. I'm digging deeper too. A deeper grave for myself.

"Well, he better behave himself, thats all I have to say." Ray says in his no nonsense tone and then abruptly gets up and leaves. That was it? I thought it would be a much longer conversation than that. Although he did ask some pretty probing questions. Quality over quantity I guess. I hear my phone ringing already. I rush over to my bag and frantically search through my bag for my phone.

"Hi." I whisper breathlessly.

"Well hello Ms. Steele." His voice is silky smooth, and I flop on my bed, my knees giving out at the sound of his voice.

"Whats up?"

"I wanted to hear your voice. I was dragged away from you so quickly, I didn't quite get my fix." I can hear his amused grin in his voice.

"Oh, Christian I miss you already." I hear his breath hitch.

"I miss you too baby." Baby?! He just called me baby! This gorgeous, smart, sexy man just called me baby.

"Say that again." I plead.

"Baby." He whispers

"Again."

"Baby."

"One more time." I can hear the desperation in my voice.

"I miss you so fucking much baby." I think I hear his voice crack a little, but I can't tell.

"Oh Christian, I wish you were here. I want to hold you and kiss you."

"Me too baby."

"Come back and pick me up." I demand. I want to be with him. I can't spend more than 10 minutes away from him. That can't be healthy. Especially considering the situation we're in.

"What?" I can hear the slight shock in his voice.

"I want you to come back, park down the street, then walk around to my back yard. I will meet you there." I say feeling so bad. I have never snuck out before, and the idea is...exhilarating! And for a long while I hear nothing.

"Christian?" I ask worried that I may have lost him. I wait a few seconds more.

"I'll be there in 10 minutes." He says shortly then hangs up before I get a chance to reply. I glance over at my clock, it is 9:18pm. I have until 9:28 exactly to get ready, knowing Christian he will be exactly on time. I quickly run to my closet trying to figure out what I can put together that will attract a man. I flip through the hangers, trying to find something that doesn't make me look like a 5 year old. I cannot find anything. I almost give up, when I see a dress that I don't recognize hanging in the way back of my closet. It is an ivory flowy sundress that on a hanger looks like something a 5 year old would wear, but when I put it on, the dress hugs the top of my body and my small curves perfectly, and when I twirl around, the bottom of the dress twirls with me. I pull the dress down just a smidge so that it looks like I have a _little_ bit of cleavage. And I blush at myself in the mirror. It is 9:26 and I'm almost ready. I brush out my hair and pull it back in a headband. I grab my jean jacket and a pair of black chuck T's and take one last look in the mirror. I shrug and all of a sudden, none of it feels good enough, but I don't have time to change. Before I leave, I go downstairs to Ray and tell him that I'm not feeling well, and that I'm going to bed early, so he knows not to disturb me.

Back upstairs in my room I turn on my tv for some background noise. I tiptoe over to my window, and slowly and quietly open it. As I am climbing out, I can hear Christian's car. I stretch one leg out over to the vine up the side of our house, right next to my window. And I begin to climb down. Slowly, but surely I climb down one foot after the other.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" I turn around and Christian is staring up at me wide eyed, there is obvious fear and anger in his eyes. The angered tone of his voice startles me and I slip, and one second I'm falling, the next I am on top of Christian, lying on the ground, crushing him. His arms are wrapped tightly around me. Clutching me to him.

"Sorry." I try to pull away so that I'm not crushing him anymore, but he clutches me even tighter.

"Don't you ever do that to me again." Christian finally breaks his silence.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you." I examine his body checking for wounds. He grabs my hands tightly, I can't move them at all.

"Dont you ever scare me like that again, Anastasia. For the love of God, I nearly had a heart attack." He pulls me in even tighter. Jesus I can barely breathe. He kisses my hair.

"C'mon, lets get out of here before your dad sees us." He moves to get up, but he doesn't let me go. He picks me up, and puts me over his shoulder. What the fuck?

"Put me down Christian!" I yell, wiggling and squirming, trying to break his hold, but its hopeless, hes just too strong.

"Shhh!" Christian hushes me as he lightly slaps me on my backside. Oh. My. God.

"OW!" I squeal. It hurt, but it also felt kind of good. How bizarre is that? When we finally get to his car, he puts me down. He gazes at me, and I gaze at him. Searching his eyes. Trying to figure out his expression. I'm stumped. He looks at me up and down. Grabbing my chin he kisses me softly.

"You look so beautiful Anastasia. Although I was enjoying your little monkey shorts he whispers, caressing the top of my thighs.

"Well maybe you'll get to see them again soon." I kiss him chastely on the corner of his mouth.

"Oh, I do hope so." My muscles clench in my belly.

Christian has the nicest car I have ever seen. Its an audi. What kind of teacher drives an audi sports car? I guess really really hot, intimidating teachers.

"Where do you want to go?" I ask him, watching him as he gets into the car.

"I know a place." He says in his mysterious, 'I'm going to torture you with suspense until you crack' tone. And I know that I am not going to get anything out of him. Where can we go anyway? We can't be seen together, what can we do? Well, I know what I'd like to do.

Christian pulls in to an underground garage in a very large, sleek, modern building.

"Where are we?" I ask looking around the garage.

"We are at my apartment." I feel my eyes widen slightly. Christian lets out a small chuckle.

"I know how that sounds Ana, but you can trust me. This was just the only place I could think of. And I would like to show you my place." He says with his beautiful smile.

"Well then lets go inside." I kiss him chastely on the cheek and climb out of the car. He takes my hand and walks me over to the elevator and presses a button. I peek up at him through my lashes, and he is staring at me intently.

"Yes?" I ask him coquettishly.

"You are so unbelievably beautiful. You know that Ana? I blush and quickly look away, feeling embarrassed. Why does it bother me so much when he says that? The elevator pings and as soon as the doors open, Christian yanks me inside, pinning me up against the wall, and before I even know what's happening he is kissing me so passionately that I completely forget all of reality. But this is reality. This is happening, and it makes me want him that much more.

"Anastasia, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life, so you better get that through your fucking head, he growls, thrusting me up against the wall again.

When the elevator doors open, we tumble out, not breaking contact, and he drags me over to a door with the number 50 on it. Still kissing me, he searches through his pockets and pulls out his keys, puts them through the door and opens it, all while devouring me, he slams his door shut, and picks me up and puts me on his kitchen counter. He is standing in between my legs, holding me. We pull away from each other, catching our breath.

"You can come over anytime Ana." He says in a most sensual tone.

"I may take you up on that offer Mr. Grey." I tease him, smiling with a huge stupid grin on my face.

Christian and I are laying on his bed, staring at each other. The Graduate is playing on the TV in the background, but we haven't watched any of it. We've just been gazing at each other. I reach over and start to unbutton his vest. He stills for some reason, but doesn't push me away. I take off his shirt and he is so frickin hot! He rolls over so that he is on top of me and he takes off my jacket and tosses it on the floor, and I lose myself in the passion.

"Ana, wake up." I hear Christian's voice and it sounds frantic. I open my eyes and he is leaning over me. It takes a moment to register that there is sunlight shining through the windows.

"We fell asleep. You spent the night here." Shit! I wonder if Ray noticed I'm gone. Its just after 6 and I grab my phone to see if there are any missed calls. There are 7 from home. I call Ray immediately.

"Ana where the fuck are you?!" Ray yells over the phone so loud that i have to pull it away from my ear. He wasn't even this mad when he saw Christian for the first time in my bedroom.

"I came to school early. I have a test today, and I left my book at school." I am a total nerd when it comes to school so Ray does not question me.

"Next time tell me Ana!" Ray hangs up. Ouch. that was harsh dad.

"I'll drive you to school." Christian renters the room ready to go.

"Are you insane? Do you want to get caught together? Besides I don't have any of my stuff."

"I'll drop you off around back so that no one will see us. As for your things we can pick them up on our way there. I'll park down the street and you can just run in." Okay, i guess that plan sounds alright.

Christian pulls up around the back of the school. I got my books and now its time to return to reality. Before I get out of the car, Christian grabs my face one last time and kisses me goodbye. Well until our class starts in 10 minutes. He releases me, leaving me wanting more. I climb out of the car and watch him as he drives away to the parking lot. I am yanked away from my daydreams by a harsh tone.

"Ana, what the fuck?" I whirl around and I see Kate, gaping at me. And it becomes very clear that she was watching Christian and I in his car. I am totally fucked.


	7. Chapter 7: Decisions, Decisions

**Chapter 7: Decisions, Decisions **

**Ana's POV**

I am frozen. My feet glued to the ground, and I am gaping at Kate. Holy shit, Kate is going to ream me a new one.

"Um…" I stutter, staring down at the ground. There is no way out of this one. Kate drops her bag and rushes over to me, grabbing my hands.

"Ana, what the fuck was that? You and Mr. Grey? Really?!" She sounds panicked, like she just got rejected from Harvard or something.

"Look Kate, it's all very complicated." I say hoping, but doubting that that will make her back off a little. But naturally, I'm wrong.

"Ana, I know what I saw, and what I saw was you sucking face with our English teacher." Kate is scolding me. Who the fuck does she think she is? This is none of her business!

"Kate you're the one who's always telling me to get a boyfriend." I pull my hands out of hers.

"He's your fucking boyfriend?! Our _teacher_! Ana, are you out of your fucking mind?" Kate grabs me by my shoulders, trying to shake some sense into me I think.

"Probably Kate, but like I said its complicated. You don't understand and you wont. So just leave it alone, and keep your mouth shut." I can hear the anger in my voice. Kates eyes are wide with surprise. I'm not normally one for the yelling, but I'm mad. Really mad. And I turn on my heel and storm off into the building. Okay, maybe that was a little harsh, but I am pissed. I still have another 6 minutes before class starts, and I run to room 103, open the door and slam it shut quickly and pull down the blind in front of the window.

Christian is sitting at his desk, and his head shoots up when I enter the room. He frowns at me, bemused by my entrance. I drop my bag, and lunge myself at him. Kissing him, I sit on his lap, and at first he is hesitant.

"Ana, what are you doing?" He whispers looking around like the guilty teacher he is.

"Kiss me." I tug on his hair, and start to kiss him again, and this time, he responds, wrapping his arms around me, holding me close to him. He spins around in his wheely chair, making me squeal with childish delight. He then grabs me, lifts me up so that I am sitting on the edge of his desk, he is standing in between my dangling legs, and he pulls me to him, kissing me harder. I pull away for a moment and gaze at him. Lost in his eyes.

"What?" He asks caressing my face.

"I care about you so much. You know that right?" I ask him taking his face in my hands. Christian looks like he doesn't understand. Like no one has ever said it to him before.

"I don't care about anyone else. This is about us. I don't care about what is or isn't right, or what is or isn't ethical. I don't care about the fact that what we're doing is 'wrong' because nothing has ever felt more perfect. You are so amazing, and I never want to let you go." I whisper, against his mouth. Holding him to me.

Christian swallows, looking like I just punched him in the gut. Oh no. Have I gone too far? But then, he kisses me softly on my hair, then on my mouth, and I relax a little.

"What?" I ask him. The bell rings and our heads shoot over to the door, then back at each other. We stare at each other for a brief moment.

"Shit." We both whisper. Christian pulls away, letting me go as I hop off the desk.

The first person to enter the room is Kate. She looks at both of us briefly, then scowls at Christian. Christian cocks his head to one side, then looks over at me, obviously asking me to elaborate.

"Later." I whisper. And we distance ourselves from each other. Other students have started entering the room, and I walk away from him, trying not to give anything away. I grab my bag, and instead of sitting in my usual seat in front, next to Kate, I make my way to the back row, keeping as far away from her as possible. I'm still burning with anger. And desire. I look up and I see Christian looking at me expectantly. I widen my eyes at him, trying to tell him that I don't want to sit up there.

"Ms. Steele, is there a particular reason that you are not in your assigned seat?" Christian asks. And I want to shout at him. What an asshole. Calling me out in front of the whole class?! Everyone turns around and stares at me. This is my worst nightmare. I hate people staring at me. I hate any kind of attention on me. I glare at him and tremble with rage, I can't believe he is doing this to me. In front of everyone! Without saying a word, I collect my things, and slowly make my way back up to the front of the classroom and sit in front of him, not looking at him, or at Kate. I can still feel his eyes on me, but I ignore him and keep my eyes fixed downward.

My favorite class has been excruciating. Kate keeps "psstting" at me and Christian won't stop staring at me. For fuck's sake, doesn't he see how obvious he's being? The bell rings and I jump up, maybe a little too quickly, I pack my books into my bag and quickly make my way towards the door.

"Ms. Steele?" Christian calls after me. But this time, I keep walking, I am so mad at him. How dare he! Was it really necessary for him to do that to me in front of everyone? What a jerk! I am screaming with rage. As I'm walking down the hall, I feel someone grab my hand. Its Kate.

"Ana, we need to talk. I'm trying to understand but how can I when you won't even talk to me?" Kate looks contrite, but I just can't right now.

"Kate, I don't want to talk about this right now in the middle of the hallway. Maybe you can come over after school and we can talk about." She lights up. Obviously delighted that she's gonna get some juicy news.

"Really?!" She grabs my hands.

"Maybe." I give her a quick hug, then stride past her to my next class.

I struggle to make it through the rest of my day. My stomach has been in knots all day. What is Kate going to say? She better keep her big mouth shut. I will never forgive her if she ruins this for me. For us. I never imagined my first boyfriend, if thats what he is, being my teacher. I thought that only happened in books and movies. But I like him. I really, really like him. It's starting to freak me out how much I like him. I know he doesn't feel as strongly as I do, but he is obviously somewhat interested. As I leave my last class, I feel my phone go off. And like clockwork, its Kate.

"Hey, meet me out in the quad." I roll my eyes as I say it, knowing full well why shes calling.

"Okay girl! Seeya there!" Kate's excitement it more than evident. God she's nosey!

Kate drives us to my house in her shiny black Mercedes convertible. The wind blows through my hair giving me whiplash, but I don't care. I finally relax. Feeling free and I feel sixteen again. The past few days have been so intense, having to deal with things and men WAY beyond my maturity level. And it feels good to hang out with Kate.

"Are you okay Ana?" She asks as switches off her car in my driveway, putting one hand over mine and trying to tame my messy hair with the other.

"Lets go inside." I ignore her question so that I don't start crying in the middle of the driveway. Ray isn't home from work yet, thankfully. I don't want to risk him overhearing our conversation about how I'm "hot for teacher." Hopefully he's hot for me too.

Kate and I sit cross legged on my bed. I pick at the lint on my comforter.

"How did this all start Ana?" Kate asks gently. Very unKate, normally when she's digging for info she's very aggressive and intimidating.

"Well, the first day of school I guess." Kate blanches, her eyes widening.

"I thought I saw something going on when he peeled you off the floor, but I just thought you were just checking him out. He is hot, I'll give him that. I glare at her, feeling slightly possessive. Is he even mine to possess? Not really. He's my 26 year old teacher.

"Oh, relax Ana. You'd have to be blind not to see it." Kate pokes me, and I giggle.

"Well I was checking him out. But it went a little further than that. He and I had spoken a few times after, but he was trying to keep his distance, given the situation. But one night he came over, and he kissed me and…" I trail off. Too embarrassed to tell her the rest. Kate looks horrified.

"You didn't Ana!" She grabs my hands. What is she talking about?

"Please tell me you didn't!" I see the panic in her eyes, and it becomes clear.

"No, of course not!" Its my turn to look horrified. How could she even think that?

"Good!" Kate sighs with relief.

"Would it be so horrible?" I ask her. Before really thinking about the question.

"Are you serious, Ana? He's ten years older than you, he's your teacher, he's taking advantage of you! Don't you see that?" Her voice gets higher and higher as she goes on. And its starting to piss me off.

"Look Kate, you don't know anything about him. He's not like that." She raises her eyebrows at me.

"How do you know what he's like, you've known him for five minutes! Ana, for all you know he could be a total psychopath who preys on young girls for his own sick pleasure." I feel the rage creeping over my body, blood rushing to my face.

"Kate, stop it! He's not like that! I know he's not like that!" I stand yelling at her, waving my hands in the air in a fit of rage. Kate looks up, gaping at me. Kate and I haven't fought since sixth grade when I missed her birthday because my dad wanted to take me fishing. Kate stands so that we are eye to eye.

"Ana, how do you know? You've known him for like a week. What he is doing is wrong, how can you not see that? What do you think is going to happen, do you think that you two will keep this under wraps for the next 2 years and then go off and get married once you graduate? Do you really think that this is all going to work out perfectly and that you and your English teacher, who is ten years older than you will sail off into the sunset?" I want to scream at her and tell her to shut the fuck up, but its not like shes wrong. And that makes me even more mad. She does have a point, but I don't care! This isn't about her.

"Kate this doesn't involve you, this is between me and him, and it better stay that way." I glare at her and she blanches. Surprised I think.

"I mean it Kate, you can't tell anyone about this. Anyone!" I look her square in the eye, making myself perfectly clear. She purses her lips, and crosses her arms in her no nonsense pose.

"Kate!" I yell at her again.

"Fine, Ana!" She waves her arms up in the air.

"But if he hurts you…" I hold my hand up, stopping her.

"No Kate, keep your mouth shut. Just stay out of it!" I hear the front door slam. Shit. Ray's home! I walk over to my bedroom door, opening it, letting her know that I'm no longer interested in having this discussion.

"Ana?" Kate's expression changes from angry and nosey, to contrite and scared. For me I think.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow." Kate gives me a hug, I want to hug her back, but I am just too mad. I make no move to return her kind gesture. I shut the door gently behind her. I walk over and flop down on my bed, covering my face with my hands. I want to talk to Christian. I pick up my phone to call him, but then I realize that I want to see him. I want to be in his arms. I leap up, grab my bag and run downstairs.

"Hey Annie, where you going? I was gonna make dinner." I barely stop to speak to him.

"I'm just going to hang out with a friend. Don't worry about dinner, I'll probably be home late." I slam the door before Ray can respond. I get in my car and floor it to Christian's apartment.

I knock timidly on Christian's door. What am I doing here? I look around the hallway guiltily, I should've thought this through. I notice a small camera in the corner of the ceiling, I quickly look away. Hopefully I don't look as young as I am. When Christian opens the door, his mouth drops open.

"Hi." I say shyly, feeling like I'm intruding. He says nothing, but gestures for me to come in.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming by?" I can't tell if he's angry or pleased. His expression is totally impassive.

"I was anxious to see you. I'm sorry, do you want me to go?" Christian smirks and then swaggers over to me, and wraps his arms around me.

"Are you crazy?" He kisses me. And I kiss him back, standing on my tip toes, wrapping my arms around his neck. He pulls away from me.

"Why were you acting so strange today? You seemed fine when I dropped you off." His thumb strokes my cheek. Searching my eyes as I search his. Shit. Do I tell him? I guess he should know.

"Kate saw us in your car when you dropped me off this morning." I say it quickly in one breath. Christian's eyes widen and he steps back, letting me go. No! Don't let me go! This is when I need him most. Is he going to break up with me? Are we even together?

"What?" He asks, his face pales and he starts running his hands through his hair.

"Yeah, but I talked to her and told her there was nothing to worry about, and she promised not to say anything, and she won't." I babble, hoping to ease the tension between us, but am unsuccessful.

"Good." He growls in a harsh tone. I flinch a little. Woah, he's scary.

"Yes." I nod in sheepishly.

"So what did she have to say?" He asks crossing his arms.

"She wasn't happy. She was worried. For me. She thinks its a bad idea." I fiddle with my fingers, too scared to look up at him.

"Shes not wrong." Christian too? How are we supposed to get anywhere if he doesn't even believe in us.

"What exactly do you want from me Christian?" I ask, finally looking up at him, looking him square in the eye.

"What do you mean? I want you, I've told you this." He reaches out for me. But I make no move towards him.

"What do you expect? What can we possibly be?" I ask, thinking about what Kate had said earlier. Christian furrows his brow, trying to figure it out for himself I think.

"I hadn't really thought about it. I was only thinking about us, right now." He looks apologetic and confused. And he's supposed to be the adult here, if he doesn't know, what are we going to do?

"So basically, I'm just yours to do what you want with for the time being, until things start going downhill?" I can hear the hurt and anger in my voice. Christian blanches.

"Ana, where is this coming from?" Christian moves closer reaching out again, but I grab his hand and swat it away.

"Answer the question Christian!" I say, irritation more prominent now. Christian's face is etched with confusion and fear.

"I-I honestly don't know, Ana. I've never been involved with a student before. But I really care about you and I want to make this work." He looks sincere but for some reason, I don't believe him.

"Do you?!" My voice is a little bit louder than I mean, but I'm don't trust him.

"Ana, why are you so mad?" My eyes start to water and I turn away from him. I can't let him see me like this. I quickly wipe away a few tears, and take a deep breath.

"I don't know if I want to do this anymore." My voice cracks a little, but I don't turn to look at him, I don't think I could bare it. I feel Christian's hands on my hips, and he turns me around to face him.

"What do you mean?" He asks looking into my eyes. Looking fearful again. I can tell he is searching mine, trying to understand, but he can't. I can't. This doesn't make sense, and I know its because it's not supposed to. This shouldn't be happening.

"I can't invest so much in something that I know will get me hurt Christian. There is no happy ending to this kind of story. There never is. People either get caught or give up when they realize they're about to get caught. I need to get out now, and so do you. We're not right for each other." I finally got it out. Is he really that surprised? He's the one who should be telling me this.

"Ana, I-" He reaches up, taking my face in his hands, looking into my eyes as I look into his eyes, they are blurry through the water gathering in my eyes again. I pull my face out of his hands and quickly walk past him, and the second I do, the tears pooling in my eyes start to trickle down my cheeks in small drops. I do not turn back to look at him but shut the door quietly behind me. When I get in the elevator, I press the button marked "G" and as they begin to close, I catch one glimpse of Christian. I put my head down and close my eyes so that he can't see me, but mainly so that I can't see him. I know that if I look at him, I'll ruin all of the progress that I have just made. When the doors finally close I let out a deep breath and let the elevator take me down, alone. And I can feel an ache in my chest. An ache that one might call, a broken heart. I guess I wouldn't know would I. This is the first time I have ever felt something like this, and it scares the shit out of me.


	8. Chapter 8: Truth & Consequences

**Chapter 8: Truth & Consequences**

**Christian's POV**

I have been sitting on my bed with my head in my hands for the past twenty minutes. What the hell just happened? She came to see me, she was kissing me, and then she just shut down. She wasn't wrong, she made some very good points. What did I expect to happen? She is ten years younger than me. I am her teacher. I'm taking advantage of her, and I should know better. This is wrong. So wrong. And I need to do something about it. I am upsetting her, and that is the last thing that I want. She is an adolescent, her life hasn't even started yet, and if she is with me, I will keep her from that. There will be so many experiences and opportunities in her life that she will miss out on because of me. I am not going to ruin that for her, I am not going to let my selfishness keep her from flourishing. For once, I am going to put my own wants and needs aside and focus one someone else. But its so hard, how can I let go of the only person that I- that I have ever...

The doorbell rings. Halting my deep thoughts. I slowly rise, running my hands through my hair, I walk over to answer the door, feeling numb, and lifeless. When I open it, I see Ana. And she is standing in front of me with eyes that are overflowing with tears. She throws her arms around me, burying her face into my chest. I flinch a little, then wrap my arms around her. I kiss the top of her head. I love the feeling of her in my arms but I hate the sight of her crying. And the reality is, she is crying because of me. I'm the problem here, she shouldn't be crying over her teacher breaking her heart. If anything, she should be crying over some stupid sixteen year old boy because he didn't text her back as soon as he read it. That is where she is at in her life. That is her level in this game, and it isn't fair of me to ask more than that of her. Neither of us know how to do this. And we can't. Her sobs begin to soften after a few minutes.

"I tried. I tried to walk away Christian, but I just couldn't as soon as those doors closed, I realized how much I care about you. I care about you a lot. More than a lot. I-" She stops, gazing up at me, and I feel her trembling, she is panting, and when I search her eyes, all I can see is fear. She is terrified. What is it? What could be wrong that has this much of an affect on her? She swallows hard, and closes her eyes.

"I love you." My world stops spinning. What did she just say to me? I must've imagined it.

"What?" I ask, and I can hear the fear in my voice too. Her eyes open, and she looks me square in the eye, her tears have stopped, and she takes my face in her hands pulling me closer.

"I love you very, very, very much Christian." And I know now that it was not my imagination. She is looking up into my eyes. And all I want to do is kiss her, and more. As soon as I feel this desire sweep over me, I finally come to terms with how I feel about her. And with that realization, I release her and push her away gently.

"Get out. Now." I say stepping back and glaring at her. The look of love she had on her face before changes to that of anguish, disappointment and confusion. I know what I have to do.

"What, why?" She asks stepping forward, reaching out and I step back quickly.

"Ana, what the fuck do you think I am? Do you really expect me to risk my entire career for a teeny little high school girl? It was an intriguing idea at first, but I'm not risking going to jail just so that I can kanoodle with you between classes. What do you think you are to me? What did you think was going to happen? I do not love you Ana, I never have, and I never will. You are an overbearing, inexperienced, immature teenager who I only noticed because you can't tie your shoes properly or walk straight. This is not going to happen Ana, I don't know what the hell you were thinking coming back, but you should've just stayed the fuck away. You're not worth the trouble. I don't want to see you again. I will have you removed from my class so that I never have to look at you again. This is it for us, Ana. There is nothing more for us. It was fun while it lasted, but you are not my girlfriend. You never were. You were just a fun little pastime, but thats it. You are nothing more to me than that." I want to go bury myself in the grave I have been digging for myself ever since I met this girl. I am as broken hearted by these words as I can see she is. The look on her face is unlike anything I have ever seen before. She looks like...there are no words. But it is devastating to witness and all I want to do is tell her how I feel. Tell her to stay, tell her to hold me, to kiss me, to keep loving me after all of the horrible things that I have just said. But that is the only thing that will make her let go. I am not strong enough to get over this, but if she hates me, then she will stay away and she will be safe and happy.

"Is that how you really feel?" Her voice cracks as the tears start streaming again. Oh, please stop! Please stop crying! I can't bare to see this, its so heartbreaking that I can feel a lump forming in the back of my throat. One that I have never felt before. Not since I was a child.

"Yes! Get out of my apartment, now Ana!" I lean forward to express my anger, but at the same time, I want to grab her and kiss her and hold her. Ana takes one step back, crossing the threshold of the door so that she is staring at me from the other side.

"Whatever you say, Mr. Grey." And when she says my name, I can hear the disgust and hatred that I thought that I wanted her to feel, but its painful to actually see it.

"Goodbye Ana." I shut the door on her. I don't slam it, I close it gently and put my head up against it. That was the most excruciating thing I have ever been through since my mother. I can't believe I just treated her the way that I did. All of those things I said and the way that I said them, it makes me hate myself even more than I did before. Another accomplishment to add to my long list of fucked up decisions. I pushed her away. I broke her heart. I broke mine. And I have lost the only woman that I have ever loved. Yes. I love her. There is no getting around it. I am in love with her, and I am never going to see her again. I will make sure of it.

I have been pacing outside the principal's office for the last five minutes. I am insane. I can't do this. But how could I not? This could very possibly ruin the rest of my life.

"Christian, come on in." Principle Williams gestures to the green leather couch in his office telling me to take a seat. I sit on one side, as far in the corner as I can get and cross one leg over the other and rest my hands on my knee.

"Thank you for seeing me Paul. I felt I should tell you something important.

"Oh?" He raises his eyebrows, looking intrigued. I want to roll my eyes at him.

"I have made a very terrible mistake. Done something very wrong." Paul looks at me even more curious now, but more sternly.

"What have you done Mr. Grey?" Oh, we're getting all formal now? I take a deep breath and begin the speech that I practiced in the mirror last night for hours.

"I had a brief intimate relationship with one of my students." I stop. And I suddenly can't remember any of it. Thats all I have to say, because no matter how hard I try to explain the circumstances of the situation, that is the bottom line. I had an inappropriate relationship with a student, and thats all there is to it. Paul gapes at me, his mouth hanging open as if there a wrecking ball weighing it down.

"What?!" He yells, but I don't flinch. His reaction is not one bit surprising. I nod at him.

"Who? Who was the student you were involved with?" Paul asks barely containing his rage.

"I don't think that is necessary, Paul. I am willing to take full responsibility for this. The girl doesn't need to have her life ruined too." And I suddenly realize that I haven't just made a mess for myself, but for Ana too. Shit, I never wanted this to land on her. I always thought that if anything did happen, it would be to me, not her.

"Who? Tell me now Mr. Grey!" Paul stands glaring down at me with a murderous look on his face. But I am still not fazed by his reaction. Its exactly what I should be getting. I surrender.

"Anastasia Steele, sir." Paul walks over to his computer. I assume he is looking up her classes. He picks up his phone and dials three numbers.

"Mrs. Peterson, please send Anastasia Steele down to my office immediately." He slams the phone down. About two minutes later we hear a light timid knock on the door, and I recognize it immediately, and it makes my heart ache a little.

"Come in." Paul's tone has lowered considerably.

Ana walks in, and her eyes immediately dart over to me and widen. And I know that she knows what is going on.

"Have a seat Ana." Ana makes her way over to the couch where I am sitting.

"Oh no Ms. Steele, right over here." He gestures to one of the chairs in front of his desk.

"What's going on?" She asks, ingeniously.

"Ms. Steele, did Mr. Grey ever, at any time inflict any inappropriate behavior on you?" I see Ana's eyes widen, and she quickly turns to me, and I gaze at her impassively.

"No, sir." She says gazing down at her knotted fingers.

"Tell me the truth Ms. Steele!" And his voice rises again. I want to shout at him and tell him to leave her alone. But I just sit there like the coward I am, and watch this fucked up situation play out in front of me.

"No, sir. It was the other way around. He was trying to stay away from me. I was the one who kept telling him not to. But we no longer have any kind of relationship, sir." She looks over and me, and I can tell she looks scared and also broken. I want to hold her and tell her it will all be okay. But that is just not an option here.

"Mr. Grey, whether Ms. Steele pursued you or not, it is your responsibility to be the adult and set her straight. Wouldn't you agree?" Paul raises an eyebrow expectantly at me.

"Absolutely sir." I nod.

"So why didn't you do that?"

"It was very difficult for me sir. I have never had feelings for a student before. For anyone. And I chose to act on those feelings instead of controlling them." About half way through, I notice that I am looking at Ana, as if I am explaining this to her.

"What are you talking about? You told me to get lost and kicked me out of your apartment!" And we both freeze. Ana covers her mouth, and our eyes both shoot over to Principal Williams.

"You were in his home?" Paul gasps. Ana nods, looking down in shame. Why is she ashamed? It should be me. And I do. Paul looks over to me, he sits up and folds his hands on his desk.

"Mr. Grey, did you cross the line with this girl?" He looks me square in the eye, a stone cold expression on his face.

"No sir." I say simply. He looks over to Ana, who is gaping at him.

"Ms. Steele?" He says, asking her the same question. And Ana leaps up.

"NO! He was good to me, he made me feel safe." She looks over to me.

"I'm honestly not sure what his intentions were/are at this point, but he never treated me badly. I am just as responsible for this as he is. So don't put this all on him, because this man does not deserve it."

Principal Williams gapes at her now.

"Well, this isn't my decision to make. I am going to call the school board and the police, and they can decide what is or isn't appropriate since clearly, neither of you can." Paul picks up the phone and starts dialing a number. Me and Ana look at each other, and don't take our eyes off of each other. This is going to be the last time I see her, and I just can't look away. We hear a knock on the door, and the superintendent and two police officers walk through the door.


End file.
